~Tiemiosho

My paper is itching to be drawn on, my dayplanner is missing, my bank account is zeroed, my resume is a little empty-looking, my scanner's dead, my brain is two feet up my ass, my laundry bag's exploding, my math grade's a fright, my computer is randomly spazzing at aparrantly nothing, and I am NOT on drugs!

At least...I don't think I am...

I went to my old church with my mom last week to support my new stepsister on her going-away-to-preach speech. This church is old-shool as in if you're a chick and aren't fat, you wear a dress. So I go in wearing this grannie dress, while everybody else looks like they just jumped out of a housewives magazine.

Except they're all pregnant. Or toting 50 babies around. I felt weird enough not being knocked up, so I went to class with the 12-year-olds and the first question the teachers asked was "what kind of father do you want for your future children?"

I don't know what it is about my hometown congregation, but everywhere else, people are relatively sane. I started taking birth control pills in highschool, convinced that there was sperm in the air at church.

Yesterday when leaving physics class, a few of my classmates chanced upon a startling discovery.

"Did you know a dude's G-Spot is in his ass?" One of them asked.

"Dude, you are the randomest sh*tbag ever!" Another replied.

Oddly enough, they were all guys, and oddly enough, I already knew that.

Time to lay off the lemon, Tiemiosho.





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